A Film Disaster

The worst thing that can happen to a film photographer has happened to me.

Two rolls of film I brought to get developed came back blank.

TWO ROLLS. Nothing on them.

It’s a nightmare.

One roll was almost assuredly my fault– it was the first roll I took with my Holga, so I’m sure I screwed up something along the way. It’s a drag, but I had low expectations for the roll anyway.

The other roll, though, was a regular 35mm from my regular camera. It had some pictures from Pamukkale on it, pictures from a walk around Ortakoy and Besiktas, and pictures from two weeks of wandering around Istanbul. I can’t figure out why that one didn’t develop– it was an old roll but (as far as I could tell) unexposed.

I am incredibly upset about it. Those pictures are never coming back.

I’ve never had this happen before, though I have had film come back in bad shape (like the images in this post)– usually it’s from using old film, or film whose effects are unfamiliar to me. It’s frustrating to spend so much time taking pictures, only to end up with muddy prints. Or no prints at all.

The lost pictures from Pamukkale hurt the most, though luckily I have others.

Will this stop me from using film? Definitely not. I still think the rewards are worth the risks. I still love shooting film. The mystery and wonder of using film, the tactile experience of holding photographs, and the incredible rush of a freshly developed roll keeps me hooked. It’s a medium unlike any other, including digital.

I’m going to stick with my fresher film as much as possible, and I’m going to keep working at the Holga until I get it right. It hurts to lose these rolls, but it makes me want to take more photographs to make up for it.

So I will overcome this brief setback. I still have more than enough pictures to write on this blog, and after my summer adventure and I will come back with more pictures than I know what to do with.

Film is a gamble, film is risk. But also… film is worth it.  I will press on.