There are so many ways to begin counting days. The calendar turns over on January 1. I reflect on the preceding year on January 29, the anniversary of the day I arrived in Istanbul and began my current life. But during this ninth year, it feels like things didn’t really get going until July 1, when our months of curfews and closures ended and the entire country let out a huge exhale, before exploding in some sort of pent-up bacchanalia.
So many of my good and bad experiences of this year happened before July 1, and yet that seems like the severing point, the before and after. Before July 1, the good times were ones we had to claw out. After July 1, the world felt alive again. Also by July 1st, many people in my age group had finally started to get vaccinated in Turkey, which probably contributed to the feeling of euphoric madness that we lived in this summer.
And yet, that first half of the year had its own special rhythm and shape. My ninth year in Turkey was full of surprises, unanticipated twists and turns, and even though it tangles together in my mind, I wouldn’t really trade any of it. This year was better than the last, and I am optimistic that the next year– my tenth!!!– will be even better than this one.
Best Of The Year
Curfew breaking with Nacho
For the first half of my ninth year, we were under curfew; most of that time we had to be home by 9pm and we were locked in all weekend. But at that point, I had antibodies from my November 2020 Covid experience, so to cope, my friend Nacho came over for lunch every lockdown weekend. Though it wasn’t really legal, we figured the potential danger was minimal thanks to my antibodies, and it really made the slog of a lockdown weekend easier. During the dark winter days, it was small joys like this that really left some light.
Speakeasy birthday party
Facing my second (SECOND!) lockdown birthday, I was determined that this year I would not spend it alone, by hook or by crook. Luckily, there was some flexibility– while last year, we were all under a very strict 4-day lockdown, this year, we were allowed to go outside to shop at the market before 5pm. So I told my walking-distance friends that if they wanted to come to my house for champagne on their way to the market, they would be more than welcome. Three friends snuck over, and two stayed over well past 5pm, and it was so blissful that I have zero regrets. Honestly, it was one of the nicest birthdays I’ve had in a long time, and I’m grateful to those three friends– none of whom knew each other before my little illegal party!– for coming over and making my day actually special.
May in California
April got progressively drearier in Istanbul, with the numbers spiking and our curfews shifted to 7pm. Plus it was persistently cold, my plans all got canceled, and I was facing my second lockdown birthday of the pandemic. So when I got my new resident permit and became eligible for vaccination in the US, I got the hell out. I managed to leave the day before Turkey went into full lockdown and spent the month of May in California, where the poppies were in bloom, the sun was shining, and I got my first shot the day after I landed. I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed myself in CA so much– maybe it was because there was nothing to miss in a locked-down Istanbul, maybe it’s because the freedom and sunshine felt like such a massive relief after months of curfews. Maybe it’s because we went to Yosemite! I don’t know what it was, but that month was one of lightness and joy, one of the many turning points in this strange year.
When the curfews ended
Like an exhale, like a loosening, like dancing. I’d forgotten how to stay out late, so I stayed out too late, simply because I could. July 1 was when the year really began, and we all tried to have as much fun as possible to make up for the many curfew months we’d missed.
Hurricane Chris
My friend Chris and I have known each other since 2009, and we have always had an incredibly loving and intense relationship– we are both very loving and intense people. Chris was finally planning to visit Istanbul this year for my birthday, but when the Covid cases spiked and everything started to shut down again, he postponed his trip. Instead, he came in the beginning of July just as the world opened up, and his two weeks with me in Turkey were wonderful and wild. We immediately flew to Kas, where we spent days swimming and driving to ruins and drinking too much and talking late into the night. And when we returned to Istanbul, we continued at that mad pace. So much drinking, so much adventure, so many intense late night conversations! My heart was so full and it just confirmed what a special friendship we have always had, and continue to have. It was a whirlwind in the best possible way, and a perfect way to kick off real summer.
The cooling pool with Hillary
There was so much that was so wonderful about my sister’s visit to Turkey, after so long. We went to Kabak, a place I’ve wanted to take her for years, and it was beautiful but desperately hot. So we ended up taking refuge at the end of most days in the “cooling pool” at our camp, a cold-water pool under pomegranate trees that was our happy place for the short time we were on the coast.
The end of the photo shoot in NYC
On one of my last days in NYC, Alison and I continued our tradition of doing some sort of photography project together by monopolizing a photo studio for a whole day. We took pictures of each other and together, changed costume, danced, played. But the moment that sums up the electric energy of that day happened right at the end, when we were exhausted and elated and nearly finished cleaning up the studio— we put on “The Obvious Child” by Paul Simon and just danced. A perfect end to a beautiful day.
Boston
I wasn’t sure that I needed much time in Boston, because sometimes it can be emotional and weird to stay there for too long; plus, it was early November, and I was afraid it would snow. But I wish I’d stayed longer because those days in Cambridge and Boston and Somerville were magical. I stayed in a house on Brattle Street that had been lived in by my friend Susannah’s great aunt for 80 years, and it was heavy with the feeling of stories and lives and ghosts. The silence was so palpable and comforting. Plus, I spent time with some of my dearest friends, like Susannah and Kelly and Will and Carrie, people who are so dear to my heart and who I hadn’t seen in over two years. And the weather was perfect autumn, sunny and cold and crisp, with riotous yellow and red leaves on all the trees… we went to Spy Pond and the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum and the North End and I felt so high on the beauty of every little thing. It was very hard to leave.
Return of swimming
I’ve written about how much I missed lap swimming throughout this pandemic, but it finally returned! And wow, it is such a glorious part of my life, I look forward to it every week.
Worst Of The Year
Curfews forever
Sorry, I can’t overstate how draining the months of curfews were. You’d think the fact that we could be out all day would balance out the requirement to be home all night, but it was just such a dulling experience. I’m glad I survived it and I hope we never have curfews again.
The journalist who didn’t tell me he had Covid
I wrote a whole blog post about this already, but discovering that a travel journalist had not told me that he got a positive Covid diagnosis two days after our interview was so deeply infuriating and rage-inducing.
The misery of April
Again, I can’t emphasize enough how dreary things felt in April. All the cafes and restaurants and bars shut down again, we went back to full weekend lockdowns after a month of only-Sunday lockdowns, and curfew was moved up to 7pm– when it was still light out. Chris’ trip was postponed, my birthday went back into lockdown, the weather was persistently gray and cold. No one knew when we’d get vaccinated. Everyone was depressed. There was just persistent malaise and I do not miss it.
Wildfires and heatwave in Akyaka
At the end of July and beginning of August, I set out to the coast with some friends in an attempt to recapture the magic of last summer’s road trips. Datca was splendid, Kas was amazing. And then we went to Akyaka.
By the time we got there, wildfires were raging in the region, and we could see the smoke in the distance. The temperature got up to 110 degrees, the hottest I’ve ever experienced in Turkey, and every day felt like standing in front of a hairdryer. We also had a problem with our AirBnB and had to switch accommodations after the first night. The whole experience was stressful, and after a few days, we made the decision to end our trip early and fly back to Istanbul– the wildfire heat wave on the coast felt too apocalyptic, too stressful. Everything about that time in Akyaka was a little weird and I was relieved to get home.
Complications in September
September was just a confusing, emotional month in a way I wasn’t totally prepared for. I moved through it, but it sucked.
Not publishing enough
The constant freelancer’s lament. I didn’t publish a lot this year outside of the work I do for my regular clients, and as usual I am quite hard on myself about that.
The Best Book I Read This Year
Parable of the Talents by Octavia Butler
My favorite book this year was a sequel, but what a sequel! I read Octavia Butler’s Parable of the Sower in 2020, so when I was in California in May, I took Parable of the Talents out from the public library… and I think it’s even better than the first book. It’s also kind of freaky; a demagogue is running for president and his slogan is “Make America Great Again”… she wrote this book in 1998!!! She died in 2006!! It’s not the only way the novel is freakishly prescient, and sometimes that makes the first half of the book tough to read, because it feels a bit too on-the-nose. But there is hope in the second half, and I can’t recommend this book (and Parable of the Sower) enough. This book is a gift.
My Year of Podcasts
As usual, I listened to a lot of podcasts, though the series that I stuck with were mostly tried-and-true. I went through most of the archive of You’re Wrong About during the curfew phase of the year, and its entertaining excavations were the perfect companion to the long nights at home.
I loved the second season of Jill Lepore’s podcast The Last Archive, about the rise of doubt and how fake news and technology merging have been a part of our lives in different forms through each decade of the 20th century. She also made a mini series called The Evening Rocket about Elon Musk and sci-fi literature, and I think I just love everything she does, it’s always so engaging and funny and sharp.
My Year of Earworms
The theme of so much of the music I listened to was JOY, whether that was from dancing around my apartment or dancing down the streets of Kadikoy or dancing with friends. So much joy! My favorite song was probably “Badala Zamana” by Zohra, a solid Habibi Funk cut, but here’s a playlist of all the songs I highlighted each month on this blog, from the trip hop of January to the grooves of this fall.
I can’t help but feel optimistic as I slip into my next year abroad, despite all the ways the world is hard. The economy, the pandemic, and so much else weighs so heavy. But, I can hug and kiss my friends, I can meet new people, I can be out all night… I refuse to take these small pleasures for granted, and I am hopeful that in this next year, those pleasures will be abundant.
For a review of years past: A Year Abroad, Two Years Abroad, Three Years Abroad, Four Years Abroad, Five Years Abroad, Six Years Abroad, Seven Years Abroad, Eight Years Abroad.
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