Twelve years ago, I moved to Istanbul.
The number is getting silly at this point, honestly. Twelve years! It was never my plan, and sometimes when I walk the streets of Istanbul, the layers of memories go so deep that I have to pause occasionally, catch my breath, and bring myself back up to the surface of the present.
This year was marked by deep contentment and deep uncertainty. On the whole I was wildly happy this year, surrounded by beautiful friends, happy with myself and my life, thrilled to wander my neighborhood and run into people I know and feel very rooted. On the other hand, it was the worst work year I’ve had in a while, and the existential stress of that hung over my head for a lot of this year. It’s strange to be so happy and so on edge simultaneously. But the joys felt permanent and the stress, I hope, will be fleeting.
Last year felt like one for re-centering, and I hope this coming one is one of growth. For one thing, I hope to revive this poor neglected blog, which has been a companion with me throughout this journey, even if I write here less than I used to in my giddy early days in Istanbul. I’m always grateful for the posts I wrote before, and I would like to pick up the habit again.
Istanbul has changed drastically since I landed here in January 2013, and I have too. I feel entwined with this city, even though I always feel like a foreigner; it’s hard to imagine a life that is separate from the city on the Strait. And thanks to one of the best things that happened this year, it seems like Istanbul will be a part of my life for a long, long time.
So here’s to more years, more unpredictability, more joys and more friends and more celebrations of all the beautiful things in life.
Best of the Year
Long term residency
The best best BEST thing that happened this year is that Turkey finally granted me a Long Term Resident Permit, after three tries and a lot of sweat and money and paperwork. This means I have a resident permit potentially forever; it’s a limitless permit that lets me live in Turkey as long as I like. And just like that, one of the biggest constant stressors in my life has been removed.
The Kadikoy Drinking Cult
The seeds of our Kadikoy Drinking Cult began in 2023, when my friend Mehras attempted to start a pub crawl among our friends that never seemed to crawl, partially because every night we chose ended up being terrifically rainy. And yet somehow, in the last year, the group has cohered and evolved into a lovely little group of (mostly) Kadikoy friends, always up for a drink, or a game night, or an adventure. Really, I have felt so fortunate this year to be surrounded by such kind, big-hearted friends, and this neighborhood group is a big part of that. One warm day in April, a few of us took a Monday field trip to Kinaliada, the smallest of Istanbul’s islands, and spent the day frolicking on the beach and laughing wild and enjoying a meyhane on the seaside. Also, we gave up on crawling– now when we meet at a bar, we tend to stay put.
Snow in Chamonix
Istanbul was freakishly warm this winter, which I was mostly okay with (outside of the obvious global warming implications), because winter is easily my least favorite season and I hate being cold. But by the end of the season, I wanted at least a taste of proper winter. Conveniently, I have friends in Chamonix, France (in the Alps!) who I hadn’t visited since 2018; previously I’d been reluctant to visit in the winter because I don’t snowboard or ski, but now I was ready for a winter wonderland Alps trip. My goal was to eat good food, drink nice wine, and move my body in nature as much as possible, and the long weekend trip accomplished all these things. Natalie and I went snowshoeing one day, and on a long snowy hike the next; on the day Natalie and Burak were working, I took myself into town and swam two kilometers in an indoor pool with giant windows looking out onto the mountains before tucking myself into a cafe with a glass of Bordeaux and a cup of onion soup. It was heaven.
Another week on a boat
After last year’s splendid week on a boat, my friends and I reunited to do it again, with two extra friends on board this time. Though the trip wasn’t without its minor disasters (see Worst Of The Year, below), on the whole I was so grateful to have a week to be completely at peace, with women I love, in one of the most beautiful places in the world. The period right before and right after the boat trip were busy and chaotic; the boat week was an island of calm in the middle that I very much needed.
Reconnecting with journalism and taking reporting trips
I took a long break from my journalism, but this year I finally started dipping my toe back in those waters, and remembered why I love it, and particularly how much I love reporting trips sometimes. There were three, for three different stories, that I enjoyed immensely.
The closest to home were two day trips to Sile, for a story that hasn’t been published yet, but let me speak to very interesting people in a calm and beautiful part of Turkey that is technically Istanbul, but feels like a different world completely.
Then there was a whirlwind 24-hour trip to Cappadocia with my friend Bradley, to visit and interview an 81-year-old German winemaker named Udo who graciously welcomed us in for the day and plied us with fresh-picked grapes and wine and told us stories until we both collapsed, exhausted and a little drunk, at the end of the day. (That ended up in our story for Politico.)
And a couple weeks after that, Ozge and I went to the south of Turkey near Marmaris– an area we are particularly fond of— to swim with sharks and meet the scientists who monitor them. We basically spent two days on a speed boat, encrusted with salt, zipping from bay to bay. It was glorious. Though the piece that came out of that trip was a huge headache (again, see below), the trip itself reaffirmed why I enjoy this work so much.
Chicago
My best friend Kelly has lived in Chicago on and off for many years, but I had never been (and she had managed to visit Istanbul TWICE). I’d actually never been to the Midwest of the US at all! So I decided to prioritize the city this summer, without knowing how auspicious the timing would be– between booking the trip and visiting, Kelly bought a house back in Massachusetts, and permanently left Chicago the week after my visit. So it ended up being a beautiful, emotional, full trip for both of us– my introduction was simultaneously her farewell to the city. While being out and about in the city was so much fun– we went to a Cubs game, took an architectural river tour, went swimming in the lake– so were the quiet moments, sitting on Kelly’s balcony and drinking wine and reading poetry late into the night. A truly heart-soaring trip.
The Sinematek programs
I love going to the movies, and I’m lucky that there are two small cinemas within five minutes of my house: the historic Kadikoy Sinemasi, and the Sinematek. The Sinematek in particular is wonderful, because although the theater doesn’t have any concessions (it’s very much a screening room for pure film snobs), it has had wonderful programs. And the most recent program was particularly wonderful because it was all in English, and featured splendid movies from the New Hollywood movement of the 70’s. And I saw all of them! Sometimes I went with friends, sometimes alone, but I loved all of it. Going to the movies is such a perfect pleasure, especially when the movies are so good.
The last night in Berlin
My whole trip in Berlin was wonderful–turns out it’s a city I enjoy most in sunshine– but I wanted to go out partying, and every night I was so exhausted by a full day that I barely managed. On my last night in Berlin, Tanya and I thought we should do something fun, but weren’t really sure what, until she suggested a bar nearby in Kreuzberg called Zyankali. What a place! The whole venue was like some sort of David Lynch dream smashed together with an insane asylum. We tucked ourselves onto leather hospital beds in a room draped with green plants and glass cases of skeletons and ordered some of the strangest and most splendid cocktails I’ve ever had. I couldn’t stop laughing with pure delight the whole time… the place was definitely my jam and one of my highlights of the visit to Berlin.
Lots of cousin time
I am so lucky to get along so well with my cousins on my dad’s side of the family, and also very lucky to have some quality cousin time this year. First the families all gathered this summer in Stowe, Vermont, and spent days hiking and swimming and enjoying each others’ company; then, later in the year everyone came to California to spend Thanksgiving at my parents’ place. Before the holiday, though, we all drove to Napa for a couple days of wine tasting, and my cousins all had a house to ourselves, complete with a hot tub. It’s such a special thing to look forward to spending time with my family.
Nacho’s wedding
Nacho, my best friend in Turkey and my Spanish brother, got married this year and it was such a beautiful, emotional experience. The whole thing came together quickly and took place in his apartment, but the casual feeling of it made it almost more special. I was the witness/best (wo)man/family representative, and I spent the days leading up to his wedding fielding texts from his mother and aunt asking me to buy him flowers and champagne, which I was more than happy to do.
Family time in Turkey
I always enjoy spending time with my family, and this year I had two special visits from my family in Turkey– my parents came in April, and my sister came in December. Both visits were so delightful. My parents and I went to Cappadocia, and I loved showing them that wild landscape, and they loved seeing it. My sister came for two weeks, which gave us time to just relax in my life here, and it was so wonderful and I still miss her now that she’s back in the US.
Worst of the Year
Not enough work
This was one of the slowest work years I’ve had in recent memory, not counting the pandemic year-and-a-half. This unfortunately coincided with Turkey becoming MUCH more expensive than it’s ever been, and that situation has been a humming undercurrent of stress throughout this whole year. I’m hoping this next year will be different– it has to be.
Losing a friend
Very unexpectedly and very suddenly and for reasons I still don’t totally understand, a friendship with someone who is very dear to me rapidly deteriorated, and the grief of losing that friendship was perhaps the largest source of anxiety and sadness in what was otherwise a year filled with beautiful friendships.
The plague boat and a shoulder injury
Our boat trip was wonderful… except for the constant stream of illness and injury that plagued us the whole week. Girls got sick, girls got stung by bees (including me), girls had allergic reactions to bee stings (not me), girls got wounded… it never really let up the whole week. I slipped on the wet deck and hurt my shoulder very badly, making it impossible to swim crawl; it took a visit to a specialist back in Istanbul and a month of physical therapy to feel functional again, and it’s still not quite 100% back to normal.
An evil editor
Visiting the shark scientists was a wonderful reporting trip; the entire process of writing and editing the resulting piece was a nightmare. The editor maimed my prose, missed the point of the piece, sent me constant harassing emails, and was just generally a disrespectful and unpleasant person to work with… plus, he reached out to all our sources after we explicitly asked him not to, which is something that is generally not done. I haven’t shared the piece we produced because I don’t think it represents my writing or the story we wanted to tell very well, and I still can barely look at it without feeling disgust about the whole process. A nightmare.
The end of the Fahri era
My favorite cocktail bar, Fahri Konsolos. became a zombie– its body lives on, but its soul is dead. My friend who founded the bar and was the true genius behind the place moved to Barcelona, and the owner promptly threatened a publication to take down my (very complimentary!) article about the place. Needless to say, I don’t go there anymore, but there was an era in which Fahri Konsolos was central to so many spokes of my social life, and I still feel nostalgic now that the era has truly passed.
Too many friends leaving
Part of the reason Nacho got married was because he was leaving Turkey. Though that is the most devastating– I’ve known Nacho since my first year here– it wasn’t the only dear friend who left this year. We seem to be hemorrhaging them. In July alone, four good friends left the city for good. Yeter ya! It’s hard these days for new people to move to Turkey, so those losses hit even harder.
The Best Book I Read This Year
I felt like I read slowly this year, and again felt more drawn to fiction than non, and yet one of the best books I read this year was, in fact, non-fiction. The Lost City of the Monkey God by Douglas Preston was written in 2017, and it’s riveting– the story of discovering a lost ancient city in Honduras, and then the horror of what happens when the city bites back. An adventure story as well as a meditation on the connections between the old world and the new and the unforeseen consequences of disease, this book hooked me all the way through.
Best Podcast This Year
Beyond All Repair (season 2)
I listen to a LOT of podcasts, but the best one this year was, without question, the second season of Beyond All Repair, which starts by looking into a cold case murder and has every expectation upended. It’s rare that a cold case mystery gets more or less solved, and in such a dramatic way, over the course of recording, but this one lands the ending and left me reeling.
More podcasts I enjoyed listening to this year: Hysterical, In The Dark, Last Man Standing (even though it’s from a couple years ago), Groupies, and Slow Burn: Gays Against Briggs.
My Year Of Earworms
I make little playlists almost every month; here are the highlights from the music I listened to and loved throughout the year.
And there we go, twelve years down, a lifetime still being lived. I can’t wait to see what lucky 13 brings me– I’m sure it will be surprising and delightful, as usual.
For a review of years past: A Year Abroad, Two Years Abroad, Three Years Abroad, Four Years Abroad, Five Years Abroad, Six Years Abroad, Seven Years Abroad, Eight Years Abroad, Nine Years Abroad, Ten Years Abroad, Eleven Years Abroad.
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